A group of middle school kids stumble upon a chest full of incredible toys from the future. The discovery takes them on an adventure using their newfound toys to save their neighborhood and ultimately the world from a maniacal corporate madman. In the process, these "loser" kids learn they have the qualities they thought they were lacking all along.

High School. Four of the most important years of your life. But it isn't always dances and keg parties and sucking face in your parents' mini-van. Sometimes it's ugly and hard and complicated. As complicated as a conspiracy to overthrow the president. There's something rotten at St. Donovan's High and sophomore newspaper reporter Bobby Funke is on it like pink rubber bands on your little sister's braces. When senior hottie Francesca Facchini solicits Funke's help tracking down a set of stolen SATs, Funke uncovers a story dirtier than the lunch lady's mustache. After he fingers the school president (figuratively) for the crime, Funke becomes one of the most popular kids at St. Donovan's High. No longer known simply as the freshman who was once tied to a giant snowman penis, Funke wins the respect of everyone from the Desert-Storm-hero-turned-educator Principal Kirkpatrick to the kid that farts on him in Spanish class...

The orphan Mandy Lane is a beautiful, virgin and pure teenager raised by her aunt, desired by her schoolmates and a close friend of the outcast Emmet. After the death of their high school mate in a pool party, Mandy befriends Chloe, Marlin, Red, Bird and Jake. Red invites the group for a weekend party in the isolated ranch of his family, with all the boys disputing who would succeed in having sex with Mandy Lane. They meet the henchman Garth that takes care of the ranch and he asks the group to go easy on the drugs and booze. In the middle of the night, a stranger wearing a hood attacks Marlin in the barn; when Jake seeks her out, he faces the killer, beginning a night of bloodshed and terror.

Loosely connected stories capture a week in L.A. in 1983, featuring movie executives, rock stars, a vampire and other morally challenged characters in adventures laced with sex, drugs and violence.